Don't want or already having therapy?

Want a one-off informed conversation to help gain some clarity?

Tired of being shut-down or dismissed when you try and seek support?

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A flavour of what we could discuss:-

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*Is my partner a narcissist?

*Am I suffering from narcissistic abuse?

*Am I a narcissist?

*Am I the family scapegoat?

*Am I chronic people-pleaser?

*I left the narcissist over 2 years ago, why do I still replay our relationship over and over?

*Am I trauma-bonded?

*Why do I feel so overwhelmed with guilt if I say no?

*Why do I feel the narcissist's pain as if it were my own?

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My name is Lydia Ernstsons and you could say I am fluent in narcissist. I am a registered therapist specialising in helping adults recover from narcissistic abuse. I have significant (decades) of "lived in" experience and have been through my own recovery journey. I also campaigned for 3 years to promote understanding (see the Credentials page) and I am still extremely passionate about bringing about social change on this issue.

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I am especially interested in the dynamics of a narcissistic family/intergenerational trauma and believe we need a lot more public awareness about this. Key themes come up again and again for example: -

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• The scapegoated child usually has no/limited allies within the narcissistic family (immediate and wider family)

• It is very rare to come across people who have managed to keep warm and loving sibling relationships when growing up in such a family dynamic

• It is not always overt parental abuse that leads people into adult relationships with narcissists. Having emotionally unavailable parents is just as damaging

• Some people have not had abuse and neglect in childhood but other experiences have led them to being drawn to narcissistic relationships

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Also it is important to remember that stigmatising and demonising people with NPD is not going to solve the issue. Not all narcissistic individuals abuse nor have the full blown personality disorder. I believe NPD is an extreme form of CPTSD in which that child has been so damaged that their CPTSD response crosses over and becomes a personality disorder. However tolerating abuse and giving narcissists endless chances is not the answer, it enables the problem and slowly destroys the victim's mental health. Narcissists cannot regulate their own painful emotions, this is why they need to project their own pain and suffering on to you. Seeing you subjugated and miserable allieviates (albeit temporarily which is why they need to keep on abusing you) their own internal pain and chaos. 

 

The consequences of long term interaction with a narcissist are catastrophic and can lead to things like suicidal ideation, alcohol abuse, auto-immune diseases and a life lived in survival mode (i.e. constantly emotionally triggered/numb/disassociated, a life with minimal experiences of joy nor space for personal growth/creativity).

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I am not a psychiatrist and this is not about labelling people. Especially if they are not present. BUT, what I can do is hear your story and give you the benefit of my personal and professional experience.

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This is a separate service to counselling and so not regulated by the BACP and its ethical framework. Therefore it does have its own set of Terms and Conditions which will be available to you when you book. Sessions are completely confidential.  This service is currently only available to residents of the UK (but that may change going forward).